I've recently been challenged by the idea of family. What defines a family? Who is a family? For most of my life I was sure that the ingredients for a family consisted of a father, a mother(who gave birth to a boy and a girl 3-5 years apart) maternal grandparents and assorted aunts, uncles and cousins. With the current state of society and the world, families rarely "look" like that anymore. I've come to realize that families have much less to do with blood relations and more to do with love.
In just over a week, we leave on a trip that will change our lives in ways that we can't fully fathom. We are bringing back from China a little girl who, through no fault of her own, will never know any of her biological family. She will never know whether her smile is that of her mother or father. She will never know that her nose is shaped exactly like her great-grandmother's. I grieve for her loss and I know that one day she too will grieve at the black hole that is her genealogy.
Does this loss of relations mean that she can never have a family? Absolutely not! Kaitlyn already has a family. She has a mother, a father, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Are all of these people related to me? No! I have family members that are close to me as family members should be. They care for me and my well being and they champion my causes. Other family members are as distant to me as a star in the night sky. They don't know me and have no desire to. On the other hand, I have friends who are as close as brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and I think of them in that way. They are my adoptive family. We have adopted each other over time and they have already adopted Kaitlyn into their hearts as their own.
Kaitlyn has lost much in her short life. The loss is profound and irrecoverable. Oh, but what a silver lining awaits this little girl! She will soon join a family that loves her beyond her wildest dreams. This extended group is rooting for her now and in the future. Her family wishes only for her happiness and success. They pray that she will grow into a beautiful, strong woman who will one day find the love that comes from having a family of her own. What will her family look like?
1 comment:
Hey Girl! Guess who? You'll never guess so I'll just tell you. Its Bridget. I'm so excited for you and I must say I am so proud of you. You will make a wonderful mother. Don't worry about anything its amazing how the answers just come to you when you need them. And yes I too have a warped sense of humor. I make my children watch Maury and tell them I'm going to call the boot camp if the don't stop fighting. So we all like to torment our children alittle. But we love them with a love so deep and pure its scary.
You will find yourself scared more now than ever in your life but oddly enough you like it. Ok I could write a book but my children are hungry and so is jeff. Good luck and be safe. I will be talking to your mom. I still love you like a sis.
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